I Got Naughty,Naughty,Naughty

xD

I was horny.Really horny,and i'm wayyy overdue for sex lah.And i haven't masturbated in ages.OH!And i was also sad.Do you know how much it sucks to feel both sad and horny at the same time??

It's a damn weird combination that feels even weirder!It was confusing too...i wanted to just mourn and emo(hey i still have my off days) but somehow random fantasies of hot guys gangba-UH...sexin' me just kept popping up.

Do you know how hard it is to feel sad when BIG THICK PENISES keep popping up in ur HEAD?

I feel damn stupid now.I could've been emo and sad and mourn by having countless hot sex. =\

However..i knew that if i did had actually sex,i would regret it once it was over.And if i masturbated and got it over with,i'd be fine...for about 15 minutes.

So it forced me to get a little creative.I raided the fridges (got two in ma' house ma!) and took out a CUCUMBER.And yea,this is your cue to WTF!! .

But then,it was too big,so i took a carrot instead.What to do?

Well...let's just say i knew what to do :p AND OF COURSE I USED LUBE!!!(I borrowed my parents' :p)

Bloody helll...don't judge me!!!It was a small carrot!!!

Sorry Girls I Suck Dick

I have this good friend of mine that i'll refer to as J.She had a really rough day,and was emoing.One of the issues she was emoing over was the fact that she wasn't pretty and thought of herself as ugly.

She's such a nice person,really.The best ever.But i admittably am part of the more popular crowd at school,and most of my chick friends are the hottest girls in our form.(But not all of us are shallow and superficial okay!)And around our friends,she feels out of place.

This one assholeturnedniceguy B comforted her.I didn't know what he said,but i know she told her to stop lying to her and that she knows she's ugly.

I went up to her and told her,'You are not pretty,but you are beautiful.'

'You're just saying that.It's so typical..'

'Well.You are.And i think that you deserve to be drop dead gorgeous more than anybody else..'

And the conversation ended with a smile,and the usual chorus of,'Why are you not straight?'

'More like why you got boobs wan??'